Obituary for RR Anderson (to run 4/7/2078)

Since RR offered an obituary for Mark Briggs (who didn't actually die, I should note) I decided to write up RR's obituary. But, unlike RR, I've decided to be a little more charitable. My obit is dated in 2078.

OBITUARY: RICHARD RYAN ANDERSON

Richard Ryan Anderson, known to millions as "RR" Anderson, died Thursday. He was 99.

The Pulitzer prize-winning American cartoonist achieved notoriety in Tacoma, WA, for his satirical cartoonist that poked fun at local public figures.

He achieved his first taste of fame on September 12, 2008, at the “Frost Park Chalk-Off,” where he was challenged to a chalk duel by surprise chalker, Dale Chihuly.

Anderson accepted the duel, and the two battled it out in the streets for three hours before Chihuly surrendered. Local legend has it that the severe potholes in Tacoma’s streets were created that day by the punches of the fighting artists, though many Anderson scholars dismiss this as myth.

The duel propelled Anderson into the national public spotlight. His reputation as a renegade and a rebel was solidified after he published cartoons mocking George W. Bush’s surprise re-election to a third term in 2008.

In the years that followed Anderson became a celebrity cartoonist, penning covers for the new editions of The Saturday Evening Post and The New Yorker.

After the Greater Depression of 2043 and the landslide election of President Chelsea Clinton the year after, the new President mentioned to a reporter that Anderson was her favorite cartoonist. Always the gadfly, Anderson drew an offensive cartoon portraying the new President as Medusa, with every snake on her head resembling either Bill or Hillary whispering advice in her ear.

Although most Americans didn’t understand the classical Greek reference, the message inflamed President Clinton and Anderson fled the country. He spent the next 36 years drawing tourist caricatures outside of the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, Italy, under the pseudonym Fronzel Ambrose Neekburn. It was there that he and his wife Darcy had their last seven children: Rex Randy, Rita Ruth, Roy Ryan, Reynold R (no period, just the letter), Robin Rachel, Robert Ralph, and Roland Reuben.

Welcomed back to the US just three days ago to claim his Pulitzer Prize, Anderson was attacked by decency activist Doreen Deeble, who had been stalking Anderson through his entire career. The 99 year old cartoonist gave her a good fight, but in the end he faltered.

The citizens of Tacoma are raising money to build a statue to their fallen hero in Tollefson Plaza, a park that public officials are still trying to bring life to ... 73 years after it was built. Something tells us Anderson would have found that particularly fitting.

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Don't worry, RR ... you have a while longer. :)